Thank God For Family...

Guess what? I finally cried.

My brother in law who has suffered from chronic shoulder pain for 20 years came to my house with my sister.

God, finally someone who understood what I felt! Once I started talking the tears poured out of me and there was no stopping them this time. Finally talking with someone face to face that understood how I felt and was in the same boat I was he had just been there longer. I found us finishing each others sentences and I couldn't take my eyes off him other than to try and see my sisters reaction that was mainly hidden behind sunglasses. We talked for hours; my husband and I were able to see perspectives from both my sister side and my brothers side. I knew we all were crying... we all were in sync for a brief moment, I felt it.

Things did get a little heated from time to time but I think that was good too. I could say what I thought without someone trying to fix it, I could be angry without someone trying to fix it. I was able to say allot of things I didn’t dare say out loud without feeling crazy. And I think we may have helped them as well seeing it so raw from us. My husband loves and adores me, he is as afraid as I am I know he worries about everything I do, and sometimes it drives me crazy. He is too protective, but I think that my brother was able to help him understand to still let me live, yes I will pay the next day and maybe I won’t but, I have to still try. I know I have limitations but I will figure those out and I already have figured some out.

I have known my brother in law almost my entire life. But I have never felt as loved from him as I did in those four hours. He helped me to see that it’s okay…I am just starting and not to worry this is normal to feel the things I am feeling including anger. He helped my husband as well… who has stuck by me and supported me through this ordeal and has not known what to do because nothing pleases me half the time. He has inspired me to do that for someone else, he gave me an idea and I am thinking about it. Maybe even could be passionate about it. There will be more information to come right now just thinking. Anyway… thanks for my brother, sister and my husband whom I love dearly.

I am not alone…

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